


You Know Nothing, Derek Hale

by chantelle82



Series: The Rules of Romance [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, M/M, roommates!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-20
Updated: 2013-04-20
Packaged: 2017-12-08 23:41:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/767446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chantelle82/pseuds/chantelle82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles and Derek are growing closer.  One of them is sure to ruin it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Know Nothing, Derek Hale

The early morning sun shone faintly across the couch as Stiles slowly opened his eyes.  It had been a long night at McHalinski Manor.  The Looney Tunes marathon had run long into the night and all three men had passed out after finishing off, what seemed like, their weight in fries.  Stiles felt the warmth of Derek’s hip underneath his head and the heaviness of Scott’s legs strewn over his own.

It had been a long time since he’d felt as…overwhelmed as he had last night.  And his roommates had been right there to pull him through it.  Stiles fondly patted Scott’s calf and carefully shifted his head to look at Derek.  He was lying crookedly, with his head on the end of the sofa – drooling.  Stiles rolled his eyes and then focused on Derek’s hand, which was curled up on the couch in front of him.  The hand that had rested on his shoulder and grounded him when he thought he was going to fall apart.

Before he knew it, Stiles carefully lifted his own hand and lightly skimmed over Derek’s thumb.  There was a sprinkling of dark hair over the first knuckle and Stiles found himself slowly stroking his own thumb back and forth across it.  He was at a complete loss; it was just a normal hand.  There were billions of them out there in the world – belonging to much less annoying people than _Derek Hale_.  But it was _this_ hand; this was the one that had silenced the chaos in his head.

Lost in the rhythm of his hand over soft skin, Stiles jumped when Derek gave a little sigh and pulled his hand closer to his chest.  Stiles tried to keep his breathing steady as he waited to make sure his roommate was still asleep, before slowly lifting his hand and maneuvering Scott’s legs so that he could slide out off the couch.

Stiles scratched his head as he walked over to the bathroom to shower and get dressed for his Saturday shift.  What he had just done was _totally_ normal, right?

 

*****

 

Derek walked out of the bathroom to see Scott sitting at the table, eating a ludicrously large bowl of cereal.  “Didn’t you guys see the spray I put in the bathroom?  I almost passed out in there from the stench.”

Scott ladled brightly coloured milk into his mouth – yes, he was actually using a _ladle_.  “The morning after a burger binge usually turns the bathroom into a toxic no-go area.”  Yep, that was definitely pride in the guy’s voice.  Derek rolled his eyes as he went to the fridge, reaching in for some juice before spying the four bottles of beer on the second shelf. 

His mind went back to that moment last night when he and Stiles had stood in the exact place he was now.  Derek let the door fall closed as he spun around to face Scott.  “Why did you tell me not to let Stiles drink anything last night?”

His roommate looked up at him, slowly chewing on his cereal.  “That’s something for Stiles to tell you.  Not me.”

“Well, somebody needs to tell me _something_.” Derek pulled out a chair and sat down; Yosemite Sam!Jackson eyed him from the other side of the table.  “I _live_ here, Scott.  I can think of a few scenarios where I could have accidentally given him alcohol.  What if I’d cooked something and given it-“

“Hmmph.  Like Stiles would let you cook anything.”

“I’m not joking here.”  Derek wiped a hand over his face.  “Look, you don’t need to tell me why, but things like ‘Stiles can’t have alcohol’ – that I _do_ need to know.”

“Okay.  Stiles can’t have alcohol.”

“Funny.”  Derek idly scratched at the tabletop.  “How come you have it in the house then?  I mean if Stiles…”

“I didn’t for a while, but then he got mad about ‘mothering’ him or something.”  Scott shrugged his shoulders.

“Right…Is it only alcohol, or is it ‘other’ substances as well?”  Derek thought he had asked that as diplomatically as possible.

Scott put down his ladle and studied him seriously.  “Just don’t push the other stuff, okay.  Let Stiles tell you when he’s ready.  I never thought it was possible, but he likes you.  So…just give him time.”

“Likes me?  Riiight.  If he had to make a choice between saving me or bust!Jackson over there, I think I’d be pretty much screwed.”

“Yeah, that’s probably true.”   Wow, _that_ was comforting.  “But last night…he’s never let anybody else join in on burgers and Looney Tunes.  That surprised me, actually.  I don’t know what it means, but it’s a good thing.”

Derek slumped back in his chair, while Scott went back to eating his breakfast.  He was kind of annoyed by the strong feeling of satisfaction that had run through him at Scott’s words.  He didn’t even really _like_ Stiles all that much – sure, there was sexual attraction, but his roommate _was_ a pretty good-looking guy.

All of a sudden, there was a thumping sound from the apartment above – Greenberg.  Scott jumped out of his chair.  “Three thumps and a tap; Harris is home!”  He handed Derek a glass and pressed his own against the wall.  Derek shook his head as he got up to join his roommate.

He could never ever call it boring here.

 

*****

 

“You will never be able to beat me, dude.  I totally saw through that attempted sleight of hand in the canned food aisle,” Stiles mocked from his perch on top of the counter.

Isaac frowned and put the creamy pumpkin soup back on the shelf.  “I’ve still got time.  Do you actually do any work here?  What exactly are you getting paid for?  I mean look at _that_ guy; he’s working for every dollar he gets,” Isaac said, pointing out of the window at Finstock across the road.  He waited until Stiles looked over before grabbing a bottle of conditioner and putting it in his jacket.

Both stores had closed half an hour ago and Finstock was cleaning up the remnants of his usual ‘Superb Saturday Spectacular!’.  This week he’d gone all out with his Western theme; Finstock had spent most of the day dressed as a cowboy atop a mechanical bull, throwing a make-believe lasso at potential customers to bring them into his store.  Needless to say, Stiles had been pretty busy with all of the extra business.

“You can always spend time over there with him until your shift starts.  Maybe you could both compare notes on how to get those glistening locks you aspire to.”

Isaac put back the conditioner and walked over to lean on the shelf opposite Stiles. This was their Saturday tradition; Isaac would hang out until he had to go to work at the video store next door.  During that time, if he was able to steal something without Stiles’ noticing, Stiles had to pay for whatever it was.  Despite the two years they’d been doing it, Isaac had only managed to walk out with a roll of duct tape, a Hello Kitty pen and a packet of icing sugar.

“I might not even be hanging out with _you_ much longer.  Unger’s decided to put the business up for sale,” Isaac said as he caught the candy bar Stiles threw at him.

“He says that _every_ year, man,” Stiles scoffed.  “And hey, if it does happen, I’m pretty sure Reddick would hire you in a second.”

“Oh, the call of the pole…I can’t deny the world all of _this_ any longer.”  Isaac sashayed his hips for a second before he flipped Stiles the finger and scowled.  Stiles retaliated by reaching over to grab one of the penguin key rings from beside the cash register and lobbed it at the back of Isaac’s head as he turned to walk down the aisle.  He spun back around with an accusatory look in his eyes as Stiles held up his arms, feigning innocence.

“Is Isaac holding you up now?  I knew he was pretty much a failure at shoplifting but this is going a bit far,” Scott sassed as he came through the side door.

“It was him,” Stiles pointed to Scott and waggled his eyebrows at Isaac who just rolled his eyes.

Scott jumped up onto the counter beside Stiles; he watched Isaac until he walked to the back of the store before turning to his friend.  “You were good today?”  Stiles just nodded his head and offered him an M&M.  “You’re sure?”

“I’m okay, Scott.  It just threw me for a little bit.”  Killing Keith did _way_ more than that, but if he told Scott everything that ran through his head last night…there would just be pointless worry.  “Really, Isaac!  _Air freshener_!  You try and steal the most unimaginative things.”

“There is no way you could’ve seen that!” Isaac yelled back over the shelves.

“I told you, dude.  This is my kingdom.  I. See. All!”  He gave an evil grin, but quickly dropped it when he turned to Scott.  There was ‘the look’.  The look he’d seen countless times from not only his best friend, but from his dad.  The look that Stiles had decided was anxious anticipation; it spoke of everything that they’d been through, and of the fear that it would happen again.  Stiles hated that he couldn’t do anything to stop it – which meant he had to _ignore_ it.  “So did you decide which one we’re buying this month – Bradbury or Powell?”  Scott cracked a grin.

God, he loved his friend to death but he was so _obvious_.  A year ago, Scott had announced that he was starting a book club, with a total of two members – him and Stiles.  Stiles knew Scott hated the club, but it wasn’t hard to figure out his grand plan.  They’d read and talk about books, Stiles would become hooked again and he’d go back and finish his degree in American Literature.  It was never going to happen – but it _had_ lessened the appearance of ‘the look’ on Scott’s face, so Stiles went along with it.

“The Bradbury one.  I thought October Country sounded cool and Erica said there were a few in stock…I put three on hold,” Scott said expectantly.  Three – that meant Derek. No way.  Off of Stiles’ dismissive look, Scott quickly added, “But we totally only have to get two.”  Stiles nodded his head in agreement.

“I admire the way you’re expanding your choices,” Stiles shouted to Isaac, “but what exactly were you going to do with those if you did manage to get away with them?”  Isaac ignored him as he put the box of tampons back where he got them.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you…Harris is back!”  Stiles almost pushed Scott off of the counter.

“How could you not tell me that straight away?!  He wasn’t gone long this time.”

“Yeah, I thought that was weird too.  I think he was on the phone to the President this morning,” Scott whispered.

“Awesome!  I’ll pull the beanbags back out cause we are _so_ sleeping in the kitchen tonight.”

“Derek thinks he said ‘resident’, but that’s just stupid.”

“Doesn’t even make sense,” Stiles nodded in agreement.  “Isaac!  It’s two o’clock; time to go!  And don’t even get me started on the disappointment I’m feeling right now about that loofah in your pocket.”

 

*****

 

It had been a good night in the apartment, Derek thought as he stepped into the bathroom and pulled off his shirt.  Stiles and Scott had spent the night whispering in their beanbags, pushed up close to the adjoining wall to Harris.  He’d been able to relax in bed and read without interruption.  It was glorious.

Derek looked at himself in the mirror, specifically his chest.  He didn’t have boobs – thank you very much – it was _all_ muscle.  Wasn’t it?  He cupped his pecs – not boobs – and jiggled them.  Oh, god – he could cup and jiggle his pecs.  Damn it.

He pulled down his boxers and took one more look at his chest, before pulling aside the shower curtain…and came face to face with a horrifying clown.  ”Aaaah,” Derek screamed as he jumped back and fell on his ass.

“That was so much better than I thought it would be,” Stiles said to Scott as he lowered evil clown!Jackson.  “I hope you got that scream recorded.  It was fantastic!”

Derek was still on the floor, breathing hard with his heart trying to beat itself out of his chest.  And, oh yeah, he was completely naked.  He watched as Stiles stepped out of the shower with Scott right behind him, filming everything on his phone.

“Don’t worry.  I got it,” smiled Scott.

“Excellent.  I now have a brand new ringtone.”

Derek was too shocked to speak.  His brain was still processing the sight of a maniacal clown face in his shower.  _That_ wasn’t going to cause problems later, _at all_.

“You’re the best, Derek,” Scott said as he stepped over him.  “I’ll go start setting up everything.”

Stiles nodded and then remained behind, studying his naked roommate closely.  “We’re golfing this morning, so hurry up.  We don’t have all day to wait while you play with your breasts.”  Derek dropped his head back in embarrassment.  “Hey, I totally understand.  If I had a rack like yours I’d never be able to pry my hands away.”

Derek heard the bathroom door close but he just stayed where he was.  He should’ve known – quiet in this place only ever lead to bad things for him.

 

*****

 

“McCall has a difficult decision to make,” Stiles pronounced in his best golf-announcer voice.  “He’s played an almost perfect game, but has he got the tenacity needed to make this final shot?”

Derek rolled his eyes as Scott put his index finger in his mouth and held it up in the air to check the wind direction.  It had been like this during all previous eight holes of the makeshift golf course his roommates had set up in the apartment.  He’d actually had fun, despite the horror of the clown!Jackson incident, but they would’ve been finished more than hour ago if the other two guys didn’t turn every shot into a _performance_.

Stiles crouched down next to the indoor putting green while Scott and Derek stood on the other side of the kitchen table.  “You could play it safe and use the putter, but if you want the glory…”

“The wedge,” Scott said, nodding in agreement.

“If it matters, I _really_ think you should use the putter,” Derek said as he looked around at everything that could be broken by a stray chipped golf ball.  Even Bob Hope!Jackson seemed to look at him in disdain at his caution.

“And that’s why you finished at _twenty-three_ over par,” replied Stiles.

“Forgive me for not knowing that the bathroom floor isn’t even.”  Stiles and Scott had greatly enjoyed themselves when it had taken him _six_ shots at that second hole.

“Excuses,” Stiles said dismissively.

“I’m gonna do it,” Scott stated determinedly as he pulled out the wedge from the shared set of golf clubs.  Derek groaned while Stiles fist-pumped the air.

Scott took a few moments to settle into his stance and then took the shot.  All three guys held their breath as they watched the ball sail over the kitchen table and the hole.  But just as Scott slumped his shoulders, the ball ricocheted off of the top kitchen cabinet and dropped straight into the hole.  The roommates spent a few seconds just staring at each other in shock.

“Yes!”  They shouted in unison.  Derek couldn’t keep the smile off of his face as he watched Stiles run around the table, hoist Scott over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry and take him on a victory lap of the apartment.

“The myth, the master, the legend – Scott McCall, everybody!” Stiles shouted as he dumped the ‘golf hero’ onto the couch.

Derek chuckled as he went to the fridge to grab some celebratory sodas.  He was really starting to love it here.

 

*****

 

Stiles hopped onto the elevator, thankful that he didn’t have to deal with any more people for the rest of the day.  Working at Morrell’s was the best job ever – if only he could get rid of all the pesky customers.

A hand shot out before the doors slid closed.  Great, it was Peter.  Stiles hated being in such a small space with the perv.  Plus, seeing him brought Derek to mind – a naked Derek, laid out underneath him on the bathroom door.  He ran a hand over his head; yep, _he_ hadn’t been thinking about naked!Derek for two days straight.  And he _definitely_ hadn’t been thinking about a certain thumb stroking over every inch of his skin.  Nope, not him.

Stiles stared fixedly ahead, feeling Peter’s eyes on him.  “Nice day, isn’t it?”

“What?” He replied confused.  Peter wasn’t usually one for small talk.

“You know – nice day, nice weather.  Did you have a good day at work?”

Stiles eyed the older man suspiciously.  “What are you doing?”

“Having a pleasant conversation with a fellow neighbour,” Peter replied innocently as the elevator began its journey upward.

“Stop it.  It’s weird.”

Peter leaned gracefully on the wall and dropped his fake smile.  “Thank you.  I told Derek you wouldn’t buy it, but would he listen to me?  Of course not.  But make sure you tell him I did make an attempt…By the way,” he ran his eyes over Stiles’ body, “Those pants are bunching in _all_ the right places.”

“Wait.  What did Derek say?” Stiles asked, ignoring the creepy comment.  He had a feeling he knew what Peter was going to say and he noticed his heart beat start to speed up.

“Nothing interesting, unfortunately,” Peter said as the elevator doors opened at his floor and he stepped out into the hallway. Stiles hand gripped the doors to stop them from closing; Peter turned around to face him.  “Just to go easy on you because of your apparently _devastating_ loss.  That’s not a direct quote but I think it captures the spirit of his argument.  But politeness unsettles my stomach, so thank you for putting an end to it.”

Stiles remained silent as he watched Peter walk away and he slowly lowered his hand from the elevator door.  He should’ve known – trusting Derek with such a private moment was a mistake.  His body shook as he imagined all the things his traitorous roommate probably told his uncle.  How he has to live with somebody who loses it over a fish…He probably laughed with Peter about a grown man who needs cartoons to calm down…God, Derek was probably sniggering behind him when they’d stood in front of the fridge that night.

An almost blinding rage rushed through him as he stalked out of the elevator and into their apartment.  He needed to do something…something that would relieve the pressure in his head.  Stiles looked over to the clock and smiled.  He had an idea, hopefully he still had time.

As he paced around the kitchen, Stiles punched a familiar number into his phone.  “Love in the Afternoon.  What’s the nature of your question?”  The woman on the other end of the call asked.

“Oh, I really really hope Derek can help me,” Stiles replied in a voice he hoped sounded both nervous and needy.

“Just take a deep breath and tell me what’s wrong,” the lady said in a soothing voice.

“I can’t believe it.  My girlfriend just left me for my dad!  And I’m sitting in my empty apartment – cause they completely cleaned me out – and I just don’t know if I can get through this.  How can I forgive my dad?”

“It’s okay.  If you hang on the line for a couple of minutes, Derek will be right with you.”  Generic hold music blasted into his ear as he continued to stomp in a determined circle around the kitchen table.  He couldn’t even think straight; trying to remember his breathing exercises when all he could focus on was the pounding in his head was always hard.

Stiles had no sense how long he’d been on hold before Derek’s voice cut through the din.  “Hi.  You’re on with Derek Hale.  What’s your name?”

“Hey Derek.  It’s Jackson.  Remember? I’m the guy you picked up on the corner of 7th and Conley.  I’ve been told I have to inform you that you might wanna get tested for syphilis.”

“Sti-“ The angry growl that came from Derek was cut off as the call was disconnected.

Stiles stood still, taking deep breaths into his lungs.  The sound of Derek’s anger helped to relieve some of the rage that had been building up in his body.  It always made him feel better to lash out a little.

Grabbing a soda from the fridge, he walked back into his room to plan bust!Jackson’s next outfit.

 

*****

 

He was going to kill him.

Derek marched over to Stiles’ room and violently pushed open the door.  It slammed against the wall and almost hit him as he stalked into the room.  “What the hell?  You son of a bitch!  What right did you have to do that?!”  He took a deep breath as he glared at the focus of his anger.  Stiles looked at him for a second before shrugging his shoulders and going back to sticking a nose onto Pinocchio!Jackson.

Derek stomped forward, ripped the nose out of his hand and threw it over on the bed.  “For once in your life, Stiles, own up to your bullshit!  I put up with your crap here in the apartment, but _that’s_ my job!  What the hell is wrong with you!”

“What about you?” Stiles calmly asked as he rose from his chair to stand in front of his angry roommate.

“Don’t even try to play the victim here – I’m not Scott.  I’m not going to buy it.”

“Oh, please.  You’re all ‘honest communication’ and trust, and a moment I _thought_ was…” Stiles gestured helplessly with his hands, “…anyway, Peter tells me you told him everything about Friday night.  But, whatever, it’s done.  I didn’t trust you before and I don’t trust you now.”

Derek didn’t know what to say as he studied the shut off look in Stiles’ eyes.  “What are you talking about?  I didn’t tell Peter anything!  I may have asked him to not be such an ass to you, but anything else – he guessed for himself.”

“I don’t need people to take it easy on me,” Stiles said dismissively.

“Are you kidding me?  You’ve got your own personal emotional bodyguard in Scott.  I’m sorry that you think I betrayed you, but Stiles…” Derek took a deep breath, “…that moment, Friday – I would never tell anybody about that.  I thought that it meant som-“

“Save it, Derek; I told you, I’m over it.  I won’t bother you with my ‘bullshit’ and you can go back to thinking you’re above everything.”

Derek took an angry step forward.  “I don’t think that.  What are you talking about?”

Stiles gave him a sceptical look.  “Oh, please.  You never really join in completely in anything we do.  It’s like you’re always creepily observing us and taking notes.  So, yeah, you act like you’re above everything.”

They stared at each other for a long moment.  Derek was way beyond frustrated right now.  He was frustrated that Stiles had interfered with his work; he was frustrated that _Peter_ probably did this on purpose just to watch what havoc he could cause – but mostly he was frustrated because the guy in front of him was hitting a little close to the mark.

Stiles finally ripped his eyes away from Derek’s, reached over to pick up the fake nose off the bed and sat back down at his desk.  Derek just watched in silence as his roommate continued working on bust!Jackson; he was obviously being dismissed.

Derek marched out of Stiles’ room and into his own, throwing himself on the bed.  He really, really wished he could just go back twenty-four hours.  Hearing a thump above him, Derek craned his neck around to see a chocolate cupcake in a small basket dangling from a wire outside of his window.

“Thanks Greenberg,” Derek murmured as he grabbed the dessert.  The only reply he received was the basket winching back up to the apartment above.

It was definitely a time for comfort food.

 

 **Next time:**   The Sheriff is in town.


End file.
